Matatu madness in boda-boda land

Last Saturday was the first full day I got to drive the renovated Peugeot. It was a bit strange following three weeks of driving a nicely maintained automatic. Having barely got used to it, I was driving through Banana Hill (yes that is the name of a real town and not some place from Super Mario-World) when there was a clink, a clank and a clunk. And the car stopped.

The short term consequence of this is that I had to buy some rope and enlist my cousin's help to tow the car out of the Hill of Banana. Rope towing is surprisingly difficult. Our rope broke four times during a 10km tow. By the time we got the car back to the house the Peugeot was hanging on by a few threads.

The longer term consequences were two fold; lots more time (and money) lost on "fixing what has been fixed" (as a friend Sebas jokingly says) and the need to find alternative means of transport for a week.

Alternative means of transport are, more specifically, walking, matatu and bodaboda.  Each day I've used these three means of transport, in this order. The first you probably know about... but what are the other two? Read on...

Matatus

Matatus are Kenya's version of a bus network. It's hard to know how to describe matatus beyond the simple fact that they are cramped 14-seater minibuses. So instead lets look at some of the rules that matatus exist by. We'll call them the five matatu commandments.

1. Thou shall always have space. Officially, matatus are only meant to fit 14 people, and even that is cramped (my head always touches the roof and my knees always stick into the seat in front). However, matatus live by the rule that there is always more space. The most crowded matatu I have been on so far has held 24 people. Don't ask how. That said, the situation is still better now than a few years ago when this sight was commonplace:

These sights were commonplace a few years ago. About 10 years ago I even saw one where the front wheels left the ground due to the number of people hanging off the back (this one's not my own photo...)

2. Thou shall have a crew of two. Matatus are run by a crew of two; the driver (who was once described as someone who hasn't slept for 36 hours and is only managing to stay awake by chewing copious amounts of the stimulant miraa); and the tout/conductor. Touts are a special breed. They are half salesman supreme, half contortionist. They will try to convince you to take their matatu even if it is going in entirely the wrong direction. Once the trip is underway, the tout will always stay next to the door to let people on or off. In the case the matatu is loaded up with over 20 people, they will perform some kind of contortionist routine in order to fit all parts of his body inside the vehicle.

3. Thou shall drive as if thou were king of the road. If traffic laws in general are more of a recommendation in Kenya rather than definitive rules for many drivers, for matatu drivers they are something that must be broken. Matatu drivers believe they always have the right of way, no matter what. Not only does this mean they will assume priority in every situation and honk and hiss if you as a driver don't respect this, but it also means they will perform crazy overtaking moves. The classic one is drive off the road in order to overtake on the inside.

"I'm king of the road, got it?!" (not my photo - camera has been at home this week)

4. Thou shall install a stereo system with woofer. A matatu without sound system is not a matatu. Some matatus will leave the sound system on full volume all the time, churning out a constant bass-line (this is a lot more common at the coast than in Nairobi). Others will either have the music turned down low, or off completely, but will turn it up/on at specific moments to attract attention- like when going through noisy towns such as Ruaka on the route I sometimes take.

5. Thou shall assume an amusing name. Matatus will always adapt amusing names which will be painted on the back window. The names of matatus I remember taking this week include "Attitude adjustment" and "confusion". But there are many more amusing names. In the future I'll post pictures when I come across some funny names on the roads.

Ebenezer, he's a geezer (not my photo).

Joking aside, while Matatus are a rather unique form of transport, they are both relatively efficient and very cheap. Furthermore, they've really come on a lot in the last few years; the Nairobi city council has introduced some pretty strict regulations for matatus, and as a result they are a lot more customer friendly than a few years ago. Hell, it is even possible to find a route map nowadays.

Boda bodas

So after walking a bit under a kilometer and being squashed in a matatu for 10km, I come to the final part of the journey - the bodaboda.

If you see something like this, you'll probably think it is a group of bikers hanging around and it's best to keep your distance.

A bodaboda stage... the one I've been going from looks somewhat more seedy though! (not my photo)

Actually, it is not a group of dodgy bikers, but rather a motorcycle taxi, or bodaboda stage.

Hop on the back and hold on tight. 50 shillings will get you about 4 km; if its further than that you're looking at 100 shillings. Not bad, and what's more, motorbikes handle the bumpy roads better than cars. But often not an experience for the faint-hearted.

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So that has been the daily commute in the absence of a car; walk about a kilometer, hop on a matatu for 10km then take a boda boda for the last 6km. Interesting for a week, but I'm not sure I could handle it in perpetuity....